December 20th, 2010

I should be in school. But, I'm not. Instead I'm 'sick,' retching and clenching my stomach.
I swear, it's probably all mental. Let's face it, I'm in a mental state of disarray, why would I physically feel any better? I'm not trying to dump on you, my three dear readers, plus anyone on the internet who may stumble along here.
I just wish someone could, I don't know, suggest a way to feel less blahh. And not be so overwhelmed.
The holidays are stressing me out, and we're not even doing anything more than a tree.
I don't know. I'm losing my mind.
I shouldn't wake up from 15 hours of sleep, and automatically blog.
If it weren't for auto-spell check, I wouldn't be coherent.

TGU

September 22nd, 2009

I am still in a remarkably happy mood today. Why, I do not know. I am not complaining, but I would really like to know what has gotten my spirits up, so I can keep them up. I may be mentally happy, but physically, I still feel like crap. Fun fact, being sick and sweating with a fever that seems almost constant, and eating less has caused me to lose three pounds. It is nice, but seriously, I can not loose it on my own, I need to get sick? This just pisses me off. I want to lose the weight, by myself. I want to be able to make myself better. I am just so frustrated.

The Girl Uninspired.

September 20th, 2009

Alas, I am still Ill with some sort of flu-thing. But it is okay, I guess. I got my laptop back, after many months of grounding from it. And yesterday, I did some work around the house, so I may get a bonus for that. Yay?
I still feel really blah, but I have written a few hundred words, and have started a drawing of Fenrir Greyback, so I guess progress is good. Gosh, I feel sick

The Girl Uninspired

September 18th, 2009

I am still sick, but doing my best not to really 'feel' it. I did go to school, and I payed attention, instead of crawling in a ball in my oversized green hoodie after drawing. I do have a blankie, I have had it since I was a baby, but my security blanket definatly seems to be my hoodie. It is terribly stretched out, but in it I feel warm and safe. I do not feel warm and safe as much as (I think) I should.
Appart from my suden cold-like symptoms, there really is nothing new in my life. It is a shame really, I would love some adventure. I have no plans for Saturday or Sunday, other then cleaning and 'doing homework,' so I have no idea how it will go.
And, Rachel: Thanks, I am praying for you too, Sister :)

The Girl Uninspired.

September 17th, 2009

Today I have felt like crap. But, for once it is physically and not just mentally. I always feel like mental crap, but now I get to really FEEL the pain. Not that it is a good thing, but it is a change. Change means less boring.
I went to see my therapist yesterday, and I was really upbeat and happy. I talked about positive changes that have gone on in my life, how I am working to improve myself. But, then I got home, and felt terrible again. Part of me wonders if I do not want to get better. Why, is beyond me, but I guess I do not know.
It figures that I get sick right after I decide to get healthy. Not only is sick the opposite of healthy, all I do when I am sick is lay around and sniff my nose. Hopefully sleep will lead to healing.

The Girl Uninspired