An Idle Mind Becomes a Sad One

When I am bored, or can not find something to do, my depression levels increase greatly. It is not when I am sitting in class, stairing at the clock, because I just doodle then or talk to a classmate who is sitting close to me. No, It is when I am at home, alone, laying on the floor, doing nothing.
When I do nothing, I do not feel nothing. When I do nothing, I feel like there is nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to, nothing to have passion for. I stop thinking of things that I want to create in my head, and I tend to 'crawl inside myself,' hiding from emotion and feeling, other then pity and sadness. I wallow in such feelings, engross myself in such emotions. I do so, until nothing feels good, and I feel cold, frozen on the inside.
It takes a lot to pull my idle self out of my head. Much prodding, and obnoxious over-zealous hugs are normally in order. And I need someone or something to distract me from feeling so terrible. Even something as simple and my mom and I playing Canasta or Scrabble helps to pull me out of it.
But, I want to be able to get out, all by myself. I want to be a 'big girl.' I just do not know how. How do you do it? How do you go, day after day, with no real positives to look forward too, without crawling back in and locking the door? How do you break down that door once it is locked? Where can I find the key?

The Girl Uninspired